funny quotes

When I first started I was always known as The Girl on the Sitcom with the Funny Voice.Julie Benz

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.Milton Berle

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.Milton Berle

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.Milton Berle

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.Yogi Berra

I never said most of the things I said.Yogi Berra

I don't mean to be funny.Yogi Berra

I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.Marion Berry

It's funny how intimate it feels to get a text.Sophie Ellis Bextor

I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that's what's funny.Mayim Bialik

Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot.Justin Bieber

On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.Theodore Bikel

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.Josh Billings

Well what's funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob's hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured.Brad Bird

I've been lucky enough to play some funny, nasty ladies in my day, and if you can make them foolish, they're even funnier.Kelly Bishop

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.Lewis Black

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.Lewis Black

I'm one of those hovering mothers and I know it's really important to have an independent child, so I'm trying to back off, but it's hard. I love him so much, and he's so funny and cute to me.Selma Blair