funny quotes

It's funny with jeans now, because if they don't feel like a pair of sweatpants, I don't have patience for them anymore! I think I'm becoming increasingly lazy.Claire Danes

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.Rodney Dangerfield

The funny thing is, the music that I'm writing now is probably some of the most cutting edge we've ever done. The music that I'm thinking about putting on our next album.Charlie Daniels

And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny.Jeff Daniels

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny.Paula Danziger

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.Paula Danziger

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.Bobby Darin

I think 'Breaking Bad' is brilliant. Good drama in the U.S. is also so funny and blurs the line between light and dark.Arthur Darvill

What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there.Keith David

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.Larry David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.Larry David

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.Larry David

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.Bette Davis

What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I was just amazed by it. I just said, 'Hey Mom, can I do this too?' And so she signed me up for little theater classes, and I remember my first audition for a play when I was seven years old was for 'The Thankful Elf.'Dana Davis

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.Evan Davis

I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny.Jonathan Davis

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.Richard Dawkins

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.Les Dawson