funny quotes

I have kind of a funny relationship with movies. I don't have to see the whole movie to get an impression of it or to let it have an influence on me.Lana Del Rey

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.Eminem

It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a baby - it's not so funny.Michael Haneke

I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery.Cecelia Ahern

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?Robert Benchley

Never have more children than you have car windows.Erma Bombeck

Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works.Steve Jobs

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too.Sophie Marceau

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.Heather Donahue

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.Albert Einstein

I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for.Donna Tartt

I'm a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It's funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take.Anthony Bourdain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.Mark Twain

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.Bob Saget

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.Mark Twain

My job is mostly to entertain and be funny.Rosie O'Donnell

My job on 'Dark Shadows' was to make it fun and funny, first and foremost. It can still be dark and it can still even be gory and gothic at times, but it also needed to be fun and it needed to be an experience that people would enjoy having.Seth Grahame-Smith

The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.Christopher Moore

I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.Donald Glover

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.Woody Allen