funny quotes

Humor, for me, is really a gate of departure. It's a way of enticing a reader into a poem so that less funny things can take place later. It really is not an end in itself, but a means to an end.Billy Collins

It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14.Jennifer Connelly

I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I'm not operating on somebody's brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it's all funny.Harry Connick, Jr.

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.Harry Connick, Jr.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.Billy Connolly

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.Billy Connolly

My wife is so funny and talented and never lets anybody fail next to her.Mark Consuelos

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.Tim Conway

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.Tim Conway

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with.Tim Conway

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.Steve Coogan

If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.Steve Coogan

But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.Steve Coogan

I think it's always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare.Steve Coogan

The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy.Steve Coogan

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.Dane Cook

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.Calvin Coolidge

Girls are supposed to be feminine and demure. Comedy isn't about that, so you just have to unlearn it. Certain women are so pretty, they can't go weird enough to be funny. You have to be willing to be ugly. I'm lucky my face can look so hideous.Jennifer Coolidge

It's funny, I never think I'm doing that well. I've never, ever. I just constantly think, 'This isn't working out.'Dominic Cooper