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P. J. O'Rourke quotes

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less.

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free.

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.

Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.

People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for.

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.

I read good. I was an English major.

I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words.