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Mark Twain quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.