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Louis C. K. quotes

Everything that people say is testable.

There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say.

I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.'

People don't talk to me on airplanes.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.

I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

Perception is created and twisted so quickly.

Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.

Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.

There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.

I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know?

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.