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Bob Uecker quotes

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.