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Andy Rooney Quotes

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Andy Rooney quotes

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.